La Tristesse Durera Toujours - EP

by Crystal Lightning

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03:47
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03:18
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03:34
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03:44

about

this is a collection of songs i wrote about a girl who gave me nightmares when i was seventeen. every song was recorded at a different time, some a year or two ago. most of them are angry, but ultimately uplifting.

credits

released December 15, 2016

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license

all rights reserved

about

Crystal Lightning London, UK

i'm 20, i sing and play guitar and i enjoy recording my streams of consciousness

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Track Name: My Worst Nightmare
we’ve always been a secret
i’ve always been the book
you closed when you were finished
no one bothered with a closer look

you’ve always been a Blank page
but when i read between the lines
the ink that had faded
was just a mess of pain and lies

and you think that you got away with it
but they all saw your moUth imprinted on my skin
and they’re all gonna know

you had green eyes, curly hair
greasy skin, a glassy stare
skull-patteRned scarf and a tiny waist
and i still see your

face when i close my eyes, it’s not fair
you sleep right through, you just don’t care
don’t tell me how it was, i was there
now you’re my worst Nightmare

i‘ve always been an outcast
you drew a circle round us Both
you invaded my personal space
but i loved it cos you gave me hope

that you would always be there
as a lover or a friend
but you left me with nothing but fingerprints
and a blAnk space where it should have said the end

and you think that you got away with it
but they all saw your mouth imprinted on my skin
and they’re all gonna know

you had green eyes, curly hair
greasy skin, a glassy stare
skull-patterned scarf and a tiny waist
and i still see your

face when i close my eyes, it’s not fair
you sleep right through, you just don’t care
don’t tell me how it was, i was there
now you’re my worst nightmare

headlights, Blindness
your ice-cold kindness
completed with such finesse
go to hell your highness
[X2]

green eyes, curly hair
greasy skin, a glassy stare
skull-patterned scarf and a tiny waist
and i still see your

face when i close mY eyes, it’s not fair
you sleep right through, you just don’t care
don’t tell me how it was, i was there
now you’re my worst nightmare
Track Name: Butterflies
you kept your copper heart
under Lock and key
i hid my bruises with bAnd jackets
and wore mine on my sleeve

you smiled at me with thaT glossy mouth
then pRessed it against mine
breathed In all the light in me
and scrubbed away my Shine

and i let you because i was young and lonely
and you were beauTiful in the dark
i covered my face with both my hands
but you took them away and kissed my heart

i was going to tell you somEthing true
but my mouth was full of Sweets and lies
i was going to show you in my face
but my eyes were full of butterflieS
my Eyes were full of butterflies [X4]

we held hands under the sheets
but never During the day
your dirty secret, my teenage dream
i never came, yoU never stayed

i’ve neveR smiled the way i did
when you whispered in my ear
my jaw still aches, my fingErs still twitch
even now you’Re not here

yeah, i blEw it because i was dumb and lonely
and you let me believe you caRed
now i clAw at my face with my ragged nails
and pull To remember yOur hands in my hair

i was going to be the best i coUld
but i Just chased you with my sighs
i was going to be so quiet, so still
but i was full of butterflies
yeah, i was full of butterflies [X4]

now you’re saying sorry
and i’m telling you it’s fine
but there are insects in my bed
and spiders and dirt in my insides
now you’re with somebody else
prOperly this time
and i hope it’s different with him
i hope he gives you butterflies

i was going to try to make you stay
but gave Up after fifty tries
i was going to give you all of me
now my wristS are full of butterflies
my wrists are full of butterflies [X4]
Track Name: Better Place
i really wAnted to love you
up until the poiNt you crushed my heart
i really wanted to love you
but maYbe that was never the best idea

i really Wanted to be with you
i thought you did too since you pressed start
i really wanted to be witH you
if only so i could stay here

in this
state of drEaming
wanted feeling
delusions of meaning
are better than the Real thing

which is hEartbreak, crying, wings worn out from flying
for just five seconds of the wind on youR face
everything stolen, when all you wanted
was just fivE seconds in a better place
i’ll find my Better place [X2]

i really wanted to like you
up until the point yoU walked out on me
i really wanted to like you
until i realised i deserve more

i really wanted To be your friend
thought i was worth something to you, stuPid me
i really wanted to be your friend
but to you there’s Only one thing i’m good for

still this
state of dReaming
wanTed feeling
delUsions of meaning
are better than the real thing

which is sore and shaking, everything aching
for just five seconds of a lovinG kiss
everything shattered, cos all that mattered
to her was five seconds of selfish bliss
you’re not my better plAce [X2]

i really want to hate you
and it’s getting easier every day
get out of my head, i don’t want you
make yourseLf useful, get out of my way
finding my better place [X4]
Track Name: Use Me
if i'm going to explain this to you
i'm gonna do it right
once you get hit by three cars in a row
you avoid roads for the rest of your life
and i know that you won't be the last
and that you'd say i messed up
but don't expect me to care that you're sad
do you really think i could give a fuck

you kicked me in nettles and rolled me in thorns
don't even talk about my heart; it was never yours

if you cared now i might believe that you did then
but i swear down you're never gonna use me again [x2]

if i'm gonna break up with you
i'm gonna do it on my terms
i need you to remember this
i'm gonna make you learn
you don't abandon your friends
benefits or not
for schoolboys with broken homes
and rap music on their ipods

you caked me in dirt and preserved me in ice
i might have loved you if you'd just been nice

if you cared now i might believe that you did then
but i swear down you're never gonna use me again [x2]

i am sick of being used
i'm not a blank slate, not a muse
don't dare to tell me that i've failed
don't touch me with your fucking nails
you can't think we can still be friends
no one is ever gonna use me again

if you cared now i might believe that you did then
but i swear down you're never gonna use me again [x2]
Track Name: America
hey darling, lately
been feeling kind of old
and that's crazy, i'm only seventeen
but from primary i've been told

that eighteen's when your life begins
university applications
three years more education then you get a job
and from then on it's mortgages
taxes, holiday houses
i know that's how it is but i've had a thought
there's something i want

take me to america
the land of the free
i know that you're trying hard
but this town's not big enough for me

take me to america
all we'll need is mix cds
i want to see every single state
from idaho to tennessee

let's eat fish and chips
while we burn to a crisp
on a beach in the middle of nowhere
i know you have plans
but we're too young for that
let's go there

hey sweetheart, it's hard
to vocalise how i feel
i'm stuck in this cycle of 'get through today
the present is not real life'
drowning in essays and tests
exams, no cash, no sleep and stress
these voices in my head are telling me to get out
and normally i'd block them out
but i think they're onto something now
i know i sound crazy but hear me out
i've figured it out

take me to america
the home of the brave
tomorrow is not good enough
take me away

take me to america
i want to see it all
from the statue of liberty
to the place where salinger was born

let's drive for forty miles
and see nothing but trees
following seas in the middle of nowhere
i know it's a lot to ask
but we're young, let's take a chance
let's go there

eighteen's when your life begins
university applications
three years more education then you get a job
and from then on it's mortgages
taxes, holiday houses
i know that's how it is
but i've had a thought
there's something i want

let's kiss all night in the dark
swinging on the monkey bars
in a park in the middle of nowhere
fuck paying the rent
never be this young
let's go there

take me to america
the land of the free
i don't understand why i have to grow up
i'm only seventeen

take me to america
where we can disappear
take me to america
it's gotta to be better than here